| CLUB or MEETING |
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| 1 | DON'T COME TO THE MEETINGS. | |
| 2 | BUT IF YOU DO COME -- COME LATE. | |
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| 3 | NEVER ACCEPT AN OFFICE, AS IT IS EASIER TO CRITICISE THAN TO DO THINGS. | |
| 4 | IF ASKED BY THE CHAIRMAN TO GIVE YOUR OPINION ABOUT SOME IMPORTANT MATTER, TELL HIM YOU HAVE NOTHING TO SAY. | |
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| 5 | AFTER THE MEETING, TELL EVERYONE HOW THINGS OUGHT TO BE DONE. | |
| 6 | HOLD BACK YOUR DUES AS LONG AS POSSBILE, OR BETTER STILL DON'T PAY AT ALL. | |
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| 7 | IF YOU AGREE WITH EVERYTHING AT THE MEETING, MAKE SURE TO DISAGREE WITH IT OUTSIDE. | |
| 8 | WHEN EVERTHING ELSE FAILS, ABUSE THE OFFICE-BEARERS. | |
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| 9 | DON'T BOTHER ABOUT GETTING NEW MEMBERS - LET THE SECRETARY DO THAT. | |
| 10 | TALK CO-OPERATION FOR THE OTHER FELLOW WITH YOU BUT NEVER CO-OPERATE WITH HIM. | |
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| 11 | WHEN ASKED FOR INFORMATION -- DON'T GIVE IT. | |
| 12 | DON'T TELL THE CLUB HOW IT CAN HELP YOU, BUT IF IT DOESN'T HELP YOUU, TELL EVERYBODY IT IS USELESS. | |
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| 13 | CUSS THE CLUB FOR THE INCOMPLETENESS OF ITS INFORMATION. | |
| 14 | DO NOTHING MORE THAN NECESSARY BUT WHEN OTHER MEMBERS ROLL UP THEIR SLEEVES AND WILLINGLY, UNSELFISHLY USE THEIR ABILITY TO HELP MATTERS ALONG, COMPLAIN THAT THE CLUB IS RUN BY A CLIQUE. | |
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| (*) | Presented in all humility in the hope that members will find them humorous, entertaining and perhaps, thought provoking. -- Shared by a friend in the 1980's. | |
| CREATIVITIY |
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| 1 | ALL RIGHT IN THEORY, BUT CAN YOU PUT IT IN PRACTICE? | |
| 2 | GOOD IDEA, BUT OUR PLANT IS DIFFERENT | |
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| 3 | HAS ANYONE ELSE EVER TRIED IT? | |
| 4 | I JUST KNOW IT WON'T WORK | |
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| 5 | IT HAS BEEN THE SAME FOR 20 YEARS SO IT MUST BE GOOD | |
| 6 | IT NEEDS MORE STUDY | |
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| 7 | IT WON'T WORK | |
| 8 | IT'S AGAINST THE COMPANY POLICY | |
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| 9 | IT'S NO IN THE BUDGET | |
| 10 | IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH | |
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| 11 | IT'S NOT PART OF OUR JOB | |
| 12 | LET ME ADD TO THAT | |
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| 13 | LET'S BE PRACTICAL | |
| 14 | LET'S DISCUS IT AT SOME OTHER TIME | |
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| 15 | LET'S FORM A COMMITTEE | |
| 16 | LET'S MAKE A MARKET RESEARCH TEST FIRST | |
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| 17 | LET'S NOT STEP ON THEIR TOES | |
| 18 | LET'S SHELVE IT FOR THE TIME BEING | |
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| 19 | LET'S THINK IT OVER FOR A WHILE AND WATCH DEVELOPMENTS | |
| 20 | NOT READY FOR IT YET | |
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| 21 | SOMEBODY WOUL'VE CONSIDERED IT BEFORE IF IT WERE ANY GOOD | |
| 22 | THAT'S NOT OUR PROBLEM | |
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| 23 | THE NEW MEN WON'T UNDERSTAND | |
| 24 | THE OLD MEN WON'T USE IT | |
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| 25 | THERE AR EBETTER WAYS THAN THAT | |
| 26 | TOO ACADEMIC | |
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| 27 | TOO EARLY | |
| 28 | TOO EXPENSIVE | |
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| 29 | TOO HARD TO ADMINISTER | |
| 30 | TOO LATE | |
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| 31 | TOO MODERN | |
| 32 | TOO MUCH PAPERWORK | |
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| 33 | TOO OLD-FASHIONED | |
| 34 | WE CAN'T DO EVERYTING AT ONCE | |
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| 35 | WE HAVE TOO MANY PROJECTS NOW | |
| 36 | WE HAVEN'T THE MANPOWER | |
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| 37 | WE HAVEN'T THE TIME | |
| 38 | WE'RE TOO BIG FOR THAT | |
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| 39 | WE'RE TOO SMALL FOR THAT | |
| 40 | WE'VE NEVER DONE IT THAT WAY | |
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| 41 | WE'VE TRIED THAT BEFORE | |
| 42 | WHAT BUBBLEHEAD THOUGHT THAT UP? | |
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| 43 | WHAT WILL MANAGEMENT THINK? | |
| 44 | WHAT WILL THE CUSTOMERS THINK? | |
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| 45 | WHAT WILL THE UNION THINK? | |
| 46 | WHAT YOU'RE REALLY SAYING IS… | |
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| 47 | WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? | |
| 48 | WHY START ANYTHING NOW? | |
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| 49 | YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND OUR PROBLEM | |
| 50 | YOU HAVEN'T CONSIDERED… | |
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| (*) | Accumulated and resurrected from my notes over the years. |
